Wiping the slate clean and start anew.

Warning, TL;DR post.

It's been a while, I know. I was actually in the midst of editing my next post, Japan, here I go part 5 when all shit came raining down on me. So my apologies for not checking in for the past year, and it's simply because I was depressed.

Well, when I checked the post that I did not manage to post, there are more than just Japan part 5.

My last post was about me graduating back in 2016 and that I started my engineering career in one of the most well known electronic companies, Intel. So I guess I'll continue from there. I was doing very well, or so I thought at the time, my manager looked up on me and decided that I am ready to be converted from a graduate trainee to a permanent staff within 2 months of probation. That's saying a lot because there are people who struggle to do so even after one year being in the company. I had a girlfriend, she was my first and thought-to-be the only girl that I fell in love with.  It was like a dream come true to be honest, securing one of the highest paying job and being with a girl whom I will be striving my future with. Well, see, there's a saying that love is blind and although I am aware of that, I can never truly be not-blinded by love.

2 months from the start of our career when she decided to burst the bubble, my bubble. We were having a small argument regarding her indecisive behavior, and in retaliation, she told me and I quote, "if you hadn't appear in my life, I could have lived so much better than I am now." Now, to give a little bit of back story here, our relationship was never in the stable side of things. From time to time, she would just talk about breaking up and not seeing each other only to wake up the second day, well, seeing each other. At one point she even came clean and told me that I was simply her emotion dumpster, and that I was nothing but a tool for her to get past her exes. Exs? Her past "boyfriends". As blind as I was back then, those things didn't stop me from pursuing her, assisting her with her studies, her careers and more.

Well, it's been almost a year since we officially broke up, so no point mentioning about the ugly past anymore, ehh? I was depressed for some time but I'm fine now, which is all thanks to my closest friends, KF, JE, WL and more. Without them listening to me all the time and giving me supports, I cannot imagine where I'll be by now. So quick update, my career is still shaky, with lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, but I think I got it under control, so wish me luck. As for relationship, getting over such toxic one requires only humongous initial effort and it's all smooth sailing after that. I guess the only feelings that I have within me now whenever I recall our memories are, disgust and I guess slight hatred? Pretty negative, but not enough to affect my daily life so...mehh. Those feelings act as a reminder for myself to never ever EVER lose myself again in a relationship.

So anyway, coming up in December, I'll be going to Japan again, this time, alone. But before that, good things have been happening in my life as well so, yayy~